When the husband is away...

...ok so I got your attention...

My husband announced last night that he had to go to Melbourne for the week. He goes away for work quite a bit and while I do miss him terribly, sometimes I secretly look forward to the opportunity to indulge in some of my secret pleasures...

...so I still have your attention...

Does anyone remember that episode in season 4 of SATC where Carrie discuses the loss of her secret single behavior, which for her includes eating a stack of saltines with grape jelly while standing up in the kitchen reading fashion magazines and where Miranda admitted, “I like to put Vaseline on my hands and stick them in those Borghese conditioning gloves while watching infomercials.”

...Well, on the weekend I purchased this...

...the instructions warn that you should not use more than once every three days...hmmm...I have found the results of using this product to be both disgusting and thrilling all at the same time and so I am now up to my third one in a row.

I currently look like this...except less glamorous...but equally as ridiculous.

The packet also reads "unclogs and invigorates". Iinvigorates?! Unclogged - Yes. Invigorated - No. I feel more llike a paper mached version of myself...not so invigorating.

After I have finished with said "invigorating" indulgences, I will curl up on the sofa and enjoy having complete control over the remote control while eating a hard boiled egg on toast (because I am giving myself a week off from having to prepare a respectable dinner) and will commence flicking through all of these...

I love reading crappy junk mail - the cheaper the shop, the better. Aldi is a particular favourite. I rarely buy anything I see in a pamphlet but it must be a (albeit far inferior) form of shopping which offers some level of enjoyment.

...if I haven't already lost your respect, I may do so now...There is another reason I love junk mail...how do I say this?!...well there is no easy way to say it, so here goes...I like to smell print....

...there I said it... I go to bookshops, sometimes with no intention of buying a book just so that I can get a little fix - I open books and give them a good old smell. Junk-mail and particularly the lovely glossy magazines you get from high-end real estate agents or the Ikea bi-annual are particularly satisfying. Old books found in second hand stores have their own unique smell. Love them all.

I'm only going public with this admission because I was recently and very embarrassingly caught out at work  indulging in what is usually a secret and very private pass time that, up until now, not even my husband knew about.

The other day I was at work and when I thought no one was watching, I started to work my way through my in-tray which was bulging with lovely glossy, professional magazines. I had been saving them up.

Unfortunately, just as I had my nose buried in the spine of  the latest issue of Proctor (the unfortunate name of the Queensland Law Society monthly magazine), one of my colleagues returned from lunch and caught me red handed (or red nosed as the case may be).

I'm sure I looked like a stunned deer caught in a spotlight until my work mate broke the awkward silence by asking "Were you just smelling that?!".... "Yes" I replied. "It smells really good - here try it!"

Needless to say, this past time has not caught on in my office but at least now everyone knows where their jun- mail has mysteriously disappeared to.